The Beautiful Bride Barbie Doll

It’s Christmas time and I found myself shopping at the local Toys R us for my 3 1/2 year old little girl. To my despair, I was subjected to 3 aisles of pure crap. My pupils were being burned by the likes of dolls named “Bratz” and disturbing makeup kits that were “3 year old friendly”. As I stared at the mind numbing selection of various “Diva Packs” (make believe cell phones, lip glosses etc), I couldn’t help but think of Jon Benet Ramsey. The old doormat in me wanted to cry. I feared the make-believe life my daughter would live as a result of having grown up with these parasitic fem-toys. One toy that has sadly become an American institution is the Barbie. Right up there with those sick and twisted Disney films that numb a little girl into la-la land. As Khankrumthebulgar puts it, “Reality cannot live up to cartoons. Women are trained to find a man with motivation from the beginning, starting with Disney classics like Cinderella... (more...)

13 Ways A Wife Can Please Her Husband

Gentlemen, before you consider dumping your wives, it is very important that you give them one last chance to straighten up before you ship them out. We certainly do not want you to leave a bad impression with your soon to be ex-wife’s side of the family, nor do we want her friends to speak ill of you either. So how about some good advice from an obediant and respectful Christian lady named Annie Angel. Annie has listed over a dozen saving graces your wife could do, to win your good humor back. Simply visit her site and print her list and leave it for your wife on the dirty stove. Chances are when you return, not only will you have a clean stove, but you will enjoy a healthy resurrection of your marriage; and your friends here at dumpyourwifenow.com will be nothing but a fond memory wishing you well at your second chance for happiness. To be a good wife ladies, Ms. Angel suggests that you awaken before your husband and make sure “you are showered and dressed with your hair... (more...)

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