Women Who GET It: Meet Curvylicious
January 27, 2008
I’m female, and I can tell you all that stumbling upon this site was an eye-opening experience for me. I agree with 98% of the issues taken up here and before you start thinking here is another woman coming to tell us this is good BUT…That is not what I’m about. There is essentially not but. I’m genuinely invested in men’s issues. I think it’s an atrocity all the injustices men have to face in the name of feminism. I don’t believe that in order for a woman to rise a man has to fall! And I’m happy to see that men have started to stand up for their rights. Before I’m a woman I’m a human being and thus I like to have things just and balanced.The only thing I disagreed with on this site was the post about feminism destroying America/society/the world etc. Without a doubt, I think radical feminism has done that. However, I believe the intention of true feminism (the one that really defends equality between the sexes – Shauna in her comment on the post of the same name did a good job of explaining what I mean about true feminism) was never meant to emasculate, demonise and discredit men. If that was indeed the case, then it would no longer be about equality but power. The strive for equality is a collaborative effort and the majority of men that I know, and indeed the impression I get from this site and its predominantly male posters, is positive to feminism in its truest form.
Anyhow, my aim in commenting on the post of anti-male shaming tactics, is that it has really opened my eyes to a lot of the things I’ve said and done when relating to a man. I’m ashamed to say that I have engaged in many of the above mentioned shaming tactics without knowing how poisonous it might have been (and probably was) to the guy on the receiving end. And considering that I’m always defending men against misandrist female friends and family members, it is a shock to me to realise that I’m guilty of misandry myself!
I live in Scandinavia (Norway) but I’m not originally from here. When I first had the opportunity to come here with my job, I was really excited … not really because of the job even though it’s a good one or the weather (I can guarantee you, I’m from the Caribbean and I HATE cold weather). It was because of the men … yes, I had this romantic vision of Norwegian men being reminiscent of the Vikings: strong, masculine, protective. How ridiculous and childish that seemed now.
This rose-tinted view of them was immediately shattered within 6 mths of my arrival. Most of the women here are feminist maniacs who are rude, condescending, bitter, filled with a sense of entitlement and self-righteousness, and use every opportunity to debase male sexuality as animalistic and dirty. Many of them even go as far as to say that by nature men are r*pists. They also love to lament upon how terrible their life is under the oppression of their men. These are women who hold buying power within the home: they decide everything from what the family should eat to what type of car the family should drive, they get 100% paid to stay home and look after their kids, they are favoured in next to every, if not all, aspect of Norwegian society you can think of: medical, judicial, artistic (read: media) and many others.
These are the women who are so sexually promiscuous that they have no problem having s*x with multiple partners in the SAME night! (I swear to G*d I am NOT exaggerating about this … nor is this a generalisation. I’m not saying ALL Norwegian women are like that but MANY MANY of them are! When I first came here I got caught up in the party lifestyle and the excitement of being in a new country and often times ended up hanging out with the wrong crowd. Whatever I write here is what I’ve seen or experienced for myself.)
The men, on the other hand, are well…. hardly recognizable. I was not brought up in a patriarchal home. In fact I was raised by a single mom who was, and still is, as feminist as they come, but interestingly enough she raised me to appreciate certain qualities in a man such as strength, having a sense of responsibility to family, confidence (don’t confuse this with arrogance-which doesn’t look good on anyone, man or woman) etc.
The men here in Norway are oppressed, self-hating wimps who don’t seem to realise, or if they do, don’t have the guts to speak out about the injustices that they face. I’ve dated many Norwegian guys who did not have the nerve to look me in the eyes when they talk to me (and trust me I’m not a knock-out, I’m just an average looking gal), they did EXACTLY what I demanded (sometimes commanded) of them, and when I try to bring up discussions about men’s issues like the wicked and evil family court laws, the misandrist portrayal of men in the media etc to my utter surprise and horror instead of defending themselves they began a list of reasons why they deserved this type of treatment! Needless it might be to say, I gave up my misguided wish to marry a Viking and ended up marrying a man from my own country. My husband and I have our differences, but I love him just the way he is. Most importantly, I RESPECT him.
While Norwegian women clearly enjoy having these spineless, dog-like men to twist about their little finger, I believe it’s a very disturbing development in our society today. I also thought the situation was slightly better in the US but apparently it’s one thing when you only visit and another when you actually live there. It doesn’t seem like it’s any better from what I’ve read on here and many other men’s issues websites. Or then again it probably is … men in the US have actually created websites and have made an attempt to organise themselves, that’s a commendable start. The men here refuse to even acknowledge that there’s a problem.
Considering how many wonderful men I have in my life: my dad, my brother, my nephew, the best of my friends, and most of all my husband I’m often compelled to write to the city council where we live regarding the issues they face. I also have a blog that’s dedicated to men’s issues on the website of the country’s leading newspaper and I constantly try to get more men engaged about their plight and more woman to see the terrible direction in which feminism has gone, but its hard when both groups have been so deeply conditioned to believe these myths about each other and themselves. But I press on. I’ll probably have a son or a daughter one day and when I ask myself, not just as a woman but a mother, if this is really the type of environment I want them to live in, the definite answer is NO.
These women, and their fellow supporters in the western world, have no clue what they’re about. They’re too damn selfish to realise how good they have it when other women in other parts of the world can’t even venture outside of their homes without being covered from head to toe. Most importantly they don’t get how lucky they are to have the men they have. Men who actually respect them and who only want a little respect in return. I think that’s the part that annoys me the most about Norwegian (indeed Scandinavian) women. Norwegian (Scandinavian) men are among the least demanding men I’ve come across in my life. They almost never object to anything they (the women) demand of them and yet their women are still not satisfied. And then we as women continue to insist that men are the sole cause of all the problems in the world. Ironic.