The Husband Store Opens in Las Vegas

April 5, 2007

women are impossible to pleaseA new store that sells husbands has just opened in Las Vegas, where a woman can go to choose a husband for marriage. At the entrance to the store is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONE TIME!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, one catch …. you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband for marriage.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads: These men have jobs and love the Lord.

She then proceeds to the 2nd floor:

The sign on floor 2 reads: These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

She then proceeds to the 3rd floor:

The sign on floor 3 reads: These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking. “Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She then proceeds to the 4th floor:

The sign on floor 4 reads: These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework. “Oh, my goodness!” She exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: You are visitor 4,763,011 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.


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10 Responses to “The Husband Store Opens in Las Vegas”

  1. Howard on April 5th, 2007 10:08 am

    Of course this is pretty classic. You can also see the same high expectations that women have on dating sites; where women expect you to be perfect while they do not even bother to post a picture of themselves. Or a 45 year old woman who expects young studs to flock to her needs just because she MIGHT put out. Or go on Craigs List & see all the women who expect YOU to pay for s*x all the while pretending to want you. Are you a “Generous Man?” Translate that as YOU will pay for s*x regardless of how bad it might be.

  2. S E on April 6th, 2007 7:37 am

    To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opens a Wife Store just across the street.

    The first floor has wives that love s*x.

    The second floor has wives that love s*x and have money.

    The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

  3. Kevin on April 6th, 2007 8:40 am

    There is alot of truth to never being able to please a woman. Opposites do not attract in a relationship. That’s where most go wrong. There is a fundamental error in looking for an opposite in a relationship. For science, that’s fine, but to want a mate that does not have the same interest, likes, dislikes, etc….well, why not just rush out on a busy freeway head-on into traffic. ‘Nuff said.

  4. Obbop on April 6th, 2007 6:18 pm

    Considering the legal statutes of the various legal entities within the US of A one can only assume the “store” has an extremely liberal return policy with not only the full purchase price refunded but the returned male having to forward to the dissatisfied purchaser a sizable sum of money every month for years to come.

  5. Kaylee on April 7th, 2007 12:18 pm

    That was a pointless story. I’d love someone to tell me the opposite isn’t true… men would keep going up floors too in search for the ‘perfect woman’: big breasts, tiny waist, housewife, s*x every night… give me a break. People who write this c**p are small-minded and don’t know the meaning of the word ‘logic’. Use your brains.

  6. Curiepoint on April 10th, 2007 8:22 pm

    The opposite isn’t true.

    It isn’t men running around telling anyone who will listen that they are entitled to a perfect mate; it’s women.

    It isn’t men who constantly change the rules as to what qualities are to be found in a desireable mate; it’s women.

    It isn’t men who sit in rapt attention listening to the likes of Orca Winfrey telling them how to ensnare a man and then screw him blind; it’s women.

    It isn’t men who throw the temper tantrums when they don’t get their own way; it’s women.

    It isn’t men who have spent the last forty years trying to define their identities through herd mentality, and then b***h and moan about how tough life is once they have gotten it; it is once again women.

    Most men would be happy to just be with a decent woman who would love them for who they are rather than for what they look like or what he can buy for her. You know…an honest woman.

    It’s a shame that such women are extinct.

  7. Mufpounder on April 12th, 2007 7:36 am

    Hey Kaylee, you sound like one of those that call and harrass Tom Leykis.

  8. mario on May 9th, 2007 2:14 am

    I’m afraid that you’ve got it wrong. Opposites DO attract, they just make lousy partners!

  9. Littleone on August 2nd, 2007 1:04 am

    Read through this and passed the first floor, but settled with the second. A man who loves, especially his children as well as having the other attributes mentioned is I could ever want. Although, loving his children is more important than how much money he’s making or his religion or lack thereof.

  10. Michelle on January 31st, 2008 10:34 am

    Hah! Whats wrong with wanting the best!? I’m happy to say that I love my man for exactly who he is and he’s definitely not rich or gives me everything I need. We both struggle. I think a man would do the same exact thing. He’s not going to get to the second floor and say “hey let me just stop here this is good enough for me.”

Did you know there is someone right now in willing to cheat on their spouse to have fun with you?

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