This isn’t good vs. evil–It is male vs. female.

We are in a constant battle with each other–because of how different our brains our built. We make a huge mistake in criticizing our men for their “faults” when in reality, it isn’t their fault. But (and here is that “but” that all you men hate, i know, and i apologize) it isn’t our fault either. We also cannot help that fact that most of the time our decsions are led by our emotions. WE CANNOT HELP THE WAY WE THINK AND FEEL-IT IS SOMETHING WE HAVE INSTILLED IN Us. We truly believe that our feelings are indeed true, valid and accurate-=-all the time. The only thing we can do is gain some insight, and if you’re with the right woman, she will be able to put her feelings aside, and hear you out, and maybe even change her mind and agree with you. Let’s be realistic though, that happens very rarely, and if you want to be in a relationship, than you just simply have to deal with these genetic differences and learn to work with them (men AND women)– or not, and be single.

And one more thing, we can’t help what we look like either, for the most part (we get what god gives us) unless you get things surgically “enhanced” (which a lot of the times is a story in itself). So we cannot help it if we are attractive, and constantly have men gawking at us and “vying for our affection and approval)”. We don’t make you act like that, you have control over you. I myself (without sounding too conceited) have that happen on a regular basis, and it throws me off a little. Because the instant that you begin dating one of these people, and start to get comfortable with them, all that “vying for your attention” goes away….Poof! its gone. And then what, you are left with misconceptions about this person…they acted one way in the beginning and then unfortunately completely changed. Which in return the woman changes, she is left feeling bitter, resentful and misguided–which leads to the kind of things you guys hate…. i.e. constant nagging, criticizm, jabs at your ego. This kind of thing happens a lot. Guys, your best bet is to be REAL from the beginning…its only fair to both of us.

There are traditions and there are traditions. It used to be that we were expected to burn one-quarter of our livestock or yield from farming; giving it to G-d, as it were. We don’t anymore. Why? I suspect that it was found to be wasteful. Three month’s salary on a shiny pebble that was mined by slave labor is equally so. Let us not forget the tradition of a bride being a virgin on her wedding night. Where did that one go? I can remember reading family accounts from 100 years ago that spoke of the wedding guests inspecting the bed linens for blood to prove that the marriage was consumated while everyone else ate and drank, and that the bride was a virgin. Gotta love those traditions…not.

I’m not following the logical link of childbirth and diamond rings. Men didn’t design the birthing process to be painful, nor the carrying of a child to be as uncomfortable as it is. Therefore, how does a guy blowing a down-payment on a house equate? I’m not trying to be argumentative here. If there’s any enlightenment in any of this, I would welcome it.

We DO marry men because we love them, I am about to marry one now who does not help me around the house at all and does whatever he wants most of the time…going out with friends ’til 2am, drinking, etc. This bothers me a great deal. We actually argued about it (the cleaning issue) the other day because I do 3 loads of laundry per week, clean, vacuum and dust the entire house, do the dishes 98% of the time etc…He takes out the trash when it is halfway up the wall, and that’s about it. He leaves things around for me to clean up after him, as though I am his maid. So, do I nag when I want him to do the dishes or the laundry ONCE IN A WHILE? YES. I have to. I ask nicely once or twice but it gets very annoying. If I did not “nag” it would not get done. Example–I asked him to do the dishes on a Saturday (mind you, it’s just putting them in the dishwasher), and they did not get done until Thursday. Same when I asked about the laundry. So in the meantime, I am washing my own dishes because there are no clean ones, how is this fair. Am I wrong to “nag”? Would I have to nag if he had just done them instead of staying up watching tv until 2am or messing around on the computer??

So Bradley, is he not helping because it “doesn’t fit into his schedule”? I’d say it is more out of laziness.

If any of you could tell me WHY this happens I would love to know. My best friend is married with a baby and one on the way and is having some serious problems with this right now. He doesn’t help her with the child OR the house, and this is not okay.

We don’t think it is “all about us”, but we do feel unappreciated and taken for granted when all we do is take care of you and we get nothing in return. No real affection to speak of, no help…Why do you feel you can do whatever you want and we have to be okay with it? Marriage/relationships are a commitment and you are a team. Women do need affection just as men need s*x. Oh, and trust me, if you would just help us out and be a little nicer, there would be much more of the latter. We would be happier and more energized, we wouldn’t have to nag, and everyone would be happy. I’ve even brought this point up and I don’t think it resonated. Why not? What is bad about this idea?

And to CuriePoint with the engagement/wedding argument as a way to make it seem as though marriage is all about the woman…PLEASE. That wedding stuff is tradition. The ring thing sucks for you guys but that’s the way it is. Sorry. We have to have kids, which involves 9 months and whole lot of pain. I think you win that one. Most women do NOT buy “several-thousand dollar wedding gowns”…Davids Bridal is where most middle class women go, dresses there are like $600. I plan to pay for mine myself, we will share other wedding costs. Guest list? Whatever, it’s not like that anymore. The wedding day is mostly about the bride but that is tradition as well. These days though, things are changing and women are being more flexible. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of Bridezillas out there that want want want and I think that is gross. $30,000 for a wedding is a waste.

All in all, I think most women are nice girls like me that just want to be with the person they love and work as a team, start a family and just be HAPPY. Why do you think we are all out to get your money??!? Really? A rotten few I guess have spoiled the whole bunch in your eyes. Don’t generalize like this please.

And to Henry…American women are the fattest in the world? AMERICANS (including men) are quite fat in general. You guys really think you are God’s gift don’t you? Men are fat too. Geez.

So…apparently dataguy thinks that no compromises should be made in marriage. This guy clearly has never been married and/or never should be married because that just cannot work. People are very different and compromises HAVE to be made. On BOTH sides. Especially if you want to make the marriage work and have a family. If you don’t want to compromise I find that selfish and you definitely should be single.

I’m the mother of two teenage boys and have been in a loveless marriage for 18 years. Sure, I could complain and trash my husband for the many long years of neglect, loneliness, disappointment and despair; I could let bitterness take hold, poison my life and tear my family apart. But, compassion and understanding are a much healthier choice for ALL concerned. IT ISN’T EASY, but it works, and we’re all better off for it. Again, it’s a CHOICE.

Life is rarely fair and usually doesn’t turn out like we hope. But, we only trash ourselves when we trash others. Instead of criticizing each other for our obvious and largely innate differences, why not take the higher ground and try to understand and accept each other — look for things to appreciate about each other instead of things to complain about. Much of our reality is simply a matter of perception. When you change what you look at, what you’re looking at changes. Try it. You might be surprised.

No, it won’t make things perfect. Nothing’s perfect. But, it will make it better — maybe MUCH better — or, as in my case, at least tolerable for now. When our kids are grown, my husband and I will part ways — but hopefully as friends. And, I hope that I will then be able to find a more suitable man one who is compassionate and understanding.

Feminism, in its infancy and by its very definition, is not supposed to make females better than males. It is supposed to offer “Equal protection of rights under Law”.

However, in the last two decades, feminism has become exactly the opposite of such ideals and has instead turned to make boys into girls – because aggressive behavior is not seemed to be “good for society”.

It is a bunch of hogwash.

I am a single mother of two children and trust me when I tell you I did not plan for it to be that way. The fault did lay with me – but not because of nagging or assuming everything should be about me. It was quite the opposite, everything was about him. I stayed with him through four affairs. I had never cheated on him once. I stayed with him after he single handedly put us into 70,000 dollars in debt (of course all in my name). I stayed and I stayed, until one day I looked at my beautiful daughters and thought to myself, “I do not want them to think that this is the way that they are supposed to be treated. I do not want them growing up thinking that women should just be something that cooks and cleans and occassionally gives it up.”

I have been single for 6 years now.

I do not believe that I am better than a man or that my feelings outweigh any opinion that they may have. But I do know what I will and will not tolerate in a partner. Show one of those behaviors and most likely you will not be welcomed back into my life.

Does this make me “princess-y”? I do not think so. I know there are great guys out there who have respect for me as a woman and would not resort to the vile acts that I have already allowed myself to go through. However, I also know that I am not ready to allow myself to let one of these guys into my life, so it is best to just NOT begin a committed relationship which only ends in MY acting like a crazy woman.

For the record, when someone is communicating with you, you are supposed to put yourself in their shoes and attempt to understand their feelings and needs. But when you communicate back to them, they are supposed to do the same for you. It is a two way street and anyone, male or female, who does not do this is a waste of time.

I’m not going to pull any punches here. Your writing is awful! You can’t possibly think that your lack of punctuation and sentence structures qualifies you as superior. If you want your opinion to be taken seriously, at least proofread and spellcheck so that you are understood by your intended audience (something else women don’t seem to get right).

This is part of the reason why I just stopped. I couldn’t go forth with meeting anyone new because during the initial conversations, I had to hear their drivel about marriage and commitment and what men won’t do. When women are posed with the question of “what’s in it (relationship) for me (male),” then it becomes a very short and fragmented discussion. Usually there is nothing in it for us. s*x? Yeah but only when she feels like it. If I for once think that it will be a regular thing, then I have to be willing to first endure their emotional babble about how tired, achy, upset, depressed or whatever that they are. Rationing cooch is one certain way to make a man under appreciate you. I can’t deal with the princesses and empresses anymore. Let these other saps have em.

1) A man telling an American woman what to do… I thought that was domestic violence according to NOW and fem-nags.

2) Nagging is not the way to get someone to do something. Just as you don’t like being told what to do, we don’t like being told what to do (50 times).

3) We see what needs to be done, and we will take care of it when it fits our schedule.

4) So, men cheat because women are unhappy? Wow, I don’t know what logic you are using, but that is adding 2 + 2 and getting 17.4356732. So does that mean that when women cheat (and according to most current statistics women cheat more than men), that men are unhappy?

5) The most of the rest I can’t decipher, but you are correct it is a two way street. Too bad your post, and your attitude shows that you really don’t believe that though.

@Donuthole – I have dated three deaf women in the past and none of them wrote like that. All of them had been deaf from birth, so I don’t think that is the case.

P.S. – GG stands for Good Game. Because your farkin’ game is over!!! Good Game!!!

Anyway, geegee’s post is the reason for this entry: given her apparent lack of punctuation, it could be she is deaf. Some deaf people, especially those since birth, don’t have good English skills, hence the poor writing that, as Curiepoint pointed out, is verbal diarrhea (me too, Mufpounder. LOL!). It reminds me of a letter a deaf friend in school who wrote me a long time ago (she’d just moved away). She wrote so much and so long that I didn’t even try to understand it in the first place. I was like, whoa, and simply put the letter away to try again later. Admittedly, though, at the time I was angry with her for something she did in school. No need to go into details about this one as I’d forgiven her for pulling such a stunt.

Geegee, no offense meant for agreeing with Curiepoint’s blunt description of your entry. You do seem to be female, not male, and you need to understand that we guys are getting sick and tired of putting up with the feminist c**p that’s been thrown at us that it seems we’re getting to where the women kick-started Feminism decades ago. Lashing out for stuff they felt they didn’t deserve, that is. Well, us guys too so it seems to be our turn.

Well, that’s all for now. I’ll be back to read more. And laugh too, of course. Hehehe By the way, I’d like to commend the editor’s comment that he decided to allow geegee’s entry as-is.

She says that things could be okay if us dumb, selfish, oafish, sloppy men with erectile-dysfunction-because-we’re-old would just realize that it isn’t all about us. Is this not what we men have been saying for two generations? Yet, the impetus behind the whole circus from courting to relationships to marriage have always been about what she wants. From the slave-mined blood rock on her hand that her friends can ooh and ahh over, the several thousand dollar wedding dress, the guest list that she and her mother control with an iron fist, and the actual ceremony and reception afterwards that can cost upwards of thirty thousand dollars…it has all everlastingly been about her wants, her needs, and her whimsy. The groom is just another accessory. Entitlement of this magnitude does not germinate overnight. It begins in her childhood princess days, and does not ever go away.

Don’t believe me? Look at how virtually every product and service is marketed in this country; it’s all about her. Even issues regarding the ever-popluar screed Erectile Dysfunction are promoted as being about her pleasure, as well as other health issues specific to men.

And for the record, ED is usually symptomatic of something far more serious and life-threatening than just old age.

Like, say…stress and burn-out? Gee, where’s the love you profess then, huh?

Your game is up, Gee-Gee. You most certainly do not marry us because you love us. You do so because it keeps you wrapped up in that delusional cocoon of being a princess that demands homage that fires your willingness to marry.

We here only acknowledge that you and your ilk fool us no more.