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His House, Her Home Filled With Garbage

January 25, 2007

Ed's Messy HouseCountless women have divorced a man for drinking too much and becoming abusive. And rightly so. No one likes a nasty lush. And especially if the lush refuses rehab and any help. Some have divorced over smaller issues, like snoring too loud or excessive flatulence. And honestly who knows if that is the real reason and not simply a trigger to some underlying event. We don’t know. However, in this case, Ed’s wife suffers from OCD and has filled their house of love with garbage. He hung in there for many years and has had enough. What caught my eye, are the women out there who post about him “humiliating” his wife by filming his house and posting it on the internet for the world to see. These women feel he is not doing enough and should be there forever through her illness, blah blah blah. I can’t wait to read all the email that will come in on this story, “How would you like it if you get cancer or some other serious illness and your wife dumps you? Or better yet films you in your bed suffering on a Morphine drip for the world to see? How would you like it you woman hater?” Again the hypocrisy and double standards come to surface. If a woman dumps a man over drinking too much she made a smart move. Again no one really likes a spouse who is drunk all the time. If a man dumps a woman for filling up his home with garbage (after 5 years of trying to help her OCD, and the wife is refusing treatment) he is a scumbag for doing so. Some silly woman is bound to shout that this is equated as a man walking away from a woman who is suffering from breast cancer (or something to that affect). Every man I know, including myself would stand by their woman in times of battling cancer. For the women who will read this and feel for Ed’s wife our opinion is thus as follows: Ed needs to dump his wife now! And if possible have her lobotomized. And now onto Ed’s Plight.

“I love my wife very much but I can’t live like this any longer. About 5-6 years ago I finally got my wife to go with me to see a physiatrist. The Doctor diagnosed her as OCD. The Doctor also told her that she could prescribe some medication for her to help with her OCD. She wanted my wife to get a physical from her family doctor to be sure she prescribed the proper medication. My wife would never do that and we have been battling over this ever since.

I’ve tried everything I can think of to help her. I even hired a company, paid them $500, to come in and straighten up our home. She wouldn’t let them in! I bought books, joined chat rooms, and watched TV shows about this same problem. Out of desperation I wrote Dr Phil and Oprah. We were invited to appear on both shows but she wouldn’t go and they wouldn’t let me come by myself. Dr Phil even called her personally and she wouldn’t answer the phone.

As I previously stated, I love my wife very much but can’t live like this any longer. Next week I will seek an attorney to file for a divorce. I spoke to one about 3-4 years ago when I was at my wits end and she said this was a form of Spouse abuse. You will see pictures from 2000 thru last week and you can see it has only gotten worse. The house looks wonderful from the outside, but inside is a different story. Oprah calls it “Dirty Little Secrets”. If Sue would just spend half the time on the inside as she does on the outside, the house could be cleaned up. This house has 2800 sq. ft, 5 bed rooms 3 baths, swimming pool, 2 sheds and a hot tub. All this for 2 people!

Her children graduated college and left home about 7-8 years ago. I have been trying to get her to down size, ever since, so we don’t have to spend our golden years working in the yard and fixing up the house. That’s not how I want to spend my golden years. Hope this didn’t bore you too much but I want my friends to hear it from me first.”

Brothers, let’s break it down a bit here. If she was like this when he was dating her, then he is the biggest dumbass for marrying her. So we assume she hid her illness quite cleverly so she could land herself a sucker. It seems she revealed her true colors once she had got what she wanted, a legal binding contract and a rock (hopefully he was smart enough enough to give her cubic zirconium). This demented woman has made this man’s life a living hell with her illness. We don’t feel sorry for her one bit for the simple reason that she refuses to get any help! If she put forth even the tiniest effort to get some treatment, she wouldn’t have made it to dumpyourwifenow.com.

What gets our gander up, is that after many long years of marriage (1 or more is long enough) The poor soul in his own attempt to find comfort reaches out to the ever so benevolent internet community only to have other women chastise him. What the deuce is that all about?

This Sugar Tits assumes he is not doing enough for his wife and has let her down. Hey Sugar Tits! The wife refuses the help!:

“I think you need help just as much as she does. I hope she searches out the sites that were offered and makes some new friends and gets a good support system, because she sure isn’t getting it from you. You did the worst thing….outed her on the Net. How humiliating. It is a disease and she needs to join those that understand what she is going through. I wish I had her email, I’d write her. I think it is a good thing you are splitting. Why did you feel the need to do this to her? Last dig before leaving?”

Thankfully there are normal people out there with normal things to say:

“I feel your pain! I have fought the same fight for 5 years. My wife takes some meds for the disorder. They have not helped. I have hauled off truckloads, most stuff new. It reappeared as fast as I got it gone. I moved out 4/28/06 and I am currently negotiating divorce settlement. I could not tolerate any more. I was becoming physically sick from stress brought on from that environment (hypertension, high blood sugars, stress related etc..) Best of luck in bringing solution to your problem. You are not alone!”

and

“What a sad situation. I’m sorry for your pain. It seems like there is no other choice but to leave – a normal person cannot live like that, and sounds like you tried everything to help, but she just wasn’t willing.”

and

“Send her to the damn nut-house… electroshock therapy… lobotomy… anything… this woman needs medication!!!”

Looks like p***r night has been called off at Ed’s place for a while.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8699023203228592640

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32 Responses to “His House, Her Home Filled With Garbage”

  1. Henry on January 25th, 2007 12:31 pm

    Ed needs to have a 2 week garage sale… (with a lot of items given away for FREE)… Then bring in the dumpster & haul the rest of the garbage to the dump… (And if the wife is accidentally found in that dumpster, I assure you Ed it’s not a great loss!) There is a serious sanitation issue here along with safety & possible fire hazards. I personally would not tolerate this kind of situation for more than 2-3 days. Ed, you are either the doormat of the century, or you have been trying to have 15 minutes of fame. What a looney way to go about this. This kind of a situation speaks volumes for NEVER getting married, since men are used and dragged into the problems of others.

  2. Curiepoint on January 25th, 2007 2:41 pm

    Yeah, he’s a woman-hater because he doesn’t want his home turned into a trash heap. This isn’t even about whether or not she does the housework. This is beyond anything he could ever keep up with even if he decided that he would take charge of the cleaning. As to her needing his support, she needs severe electro-convulsive aversion therapy.

    I hope he has the nads to tell these hateful Bi**hes off.

  3. Pete on January 25th, 2007 5:41 pm

    The problem is that women tend to stick together – this is why whenever someone complains about a woman, he is instantly found guilty of misogyny by the all-female court of public opinion, since they’re afraid that he’s talking about the entire female gender when he is talking about one female.

  4. Outcast Superstar on January 26th, 2007 9:43 am

    Wow! I have heard about a lot of crazy stories but nothing like this. Hopefully Ed will get to spend his golden age years living in peace.

  5. Lee on January 28th, 2007 2:53 am

    Wow. I am thinking that she has spent quite a bit of his money to get all that useless junk and stack it up.

    Why didn’t he tell her ‘No’?

    This is what happens when you don’t place limits on a woman!

  6. Anonymous on January 29th, 2007 12:29 pm

    Lee R, stop blaming the man. Nothing he could’ve done would’ve prevented this, and you all need to accept that “wherever there’s a woman’s failings, there’s a man behind it” is NOT TRUE.

    If he had done ANYTHING, he would have been labeled controlling and abusive by that SAME troop of females and men. Logic does not enter into this.

  7. pablo on January 31st, 2007 8:27 am

    Whos been taking pics of my house :P
    I thought I had a unique wife

  8. ingrid on February 2nd, 2007 12:39 am

    No one should live with a house like that.

    There is, however, no “they.” To assume all women are one homogeneous mass who are all exactly the same is to say the same for men. Ridiculous.

    People are people. Individuals. s*x aside, people have varying levels of respect for each other.

    This woman obviously had little respect for herself.

    This: “Again the hypocrisy and double standards come to surface. If a woman dumps a man over drinking too much she made a smart move. Again no one really likes a spouse who is drunk all the time. If a man dumps a woman for filling up his home with garbage (after 5 years of trying to help her OCD, and the wife is refusing treatment) he is a scumbag for doing so.”

    Is not the opinion of everyone. Nor should it be conveyed as such. It is the hypocrisy of some. Not all. And probably not most.

    I don’t think he is a scumbag. I think it is awful that he should have had to live with that.

  9. Charles on February 3rd, 2007 1:54 pm

    This home is an analogy for her. The outside looks normal and no one would suspect the turmoil that lies withing. Don’t walk, RUN away from this woman..!!!

    Many women are like this. They act all sweet and innocent and NORMAL ( and often pretty) on the outside. But if you could see inside of them you would shreek in horror…

    I work in sales and visit peopel in their homes for a living. This is more common than one might think and upheaval in marriage is the rule of the day.

  10. joe1973 on February 3rd, 2007 5:14 pm

    this is just a true sign of a sicko. if it was me i would GIVE everything away.

  11. cherry_jujube2 (A Female) on February 4th, 2007 11:53 am

    I feel sorry for that poor guy. Any woman who accuses him of not helping her is just as crazy as the wife in my book.

    I’m sorry for all the men who fall for women like her. I get the feeling I’m one of the few “sane” women in this world, unfortunately. The other members of my s*x that are detestable tend to grab more attention than people like me. (This is not to say I am submissive or traditional in any way. I’m just not as super-emotional or contradictory as a lot of other women I see. Maybe this is why the women friends I have are a lot like me.)

  12. Kat Cirelli on February 5th, 2007 7:26 am

    Ok not all women stick together, he should have dumped her ages ago

  13. Grunt on February 9th, 2007 11:11 am

    First off, ingrid, when more then 70% of divorces are initiated by the western female AND the western female is awarded child custody 9 TIMES OUT OF 10…it is oficially safe to lump all western females in the same category. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and flies like a duck…it must be a wombat, eh ingrid?

    Western men must be aware that the mindset (propaganda?) that ingrid puts forth is the ambiguity that western females thrive in. The western female swims in your good faith, as there it finds the happy hunting ground. Give it the benefit of the doubt, and you will pay the price.

    Second, the wife in the above story is clearly creating a hostile environment for the husband in the hopes he will simply up and leave. Thus granting the parasite wife the house and alimony under the guise of “abandonment”.

    He married it, so he deserves what he gets.

  14. steve on February 12th, 2007 1:38 am

    Hey Ed: Too bad she couldn’t be as obsessive about s*x,eh?

  15. Amanda on February 13th, 2007 1:34 pm

    OCD my a*s…..this isn’t obsessive compulsive disorder…what this IS, is plain laziness….his only fault is not having her get up off her lazy a*s and making her clean up this s**t. I am not a L*****n or a woman hater or a man hater for that matter…I was married for 17 years and my ex-husband never, ever had to come home to a dirty house…this was while I was working 8 hours a day…working out at least 2 1/2 hours a day it still remained clean…..there isn’t any excuses…just lazy b*****s not wanting to be clean….it’s disgusitng…my sister “suffers” from this same disorder…and she wants to get married…please….i wouldn’t wish this on anybody…..men…take care of what kind of person you date…women you do the same….either s*x can be lazy and sloppy….but why?

  16. Lucky on February 18th, 2007 3:27 pm

    Laziness? Nope.

    OCD? Yup + a hidden desire to be in control – thus “not letting” the garbage pile in the house “control her.”

    Simple psychology.

  17. Bruce on February 21st, 2007 12:36 pm

    I know of two such women. Or, knew.

    In the 80′s, I worked with a man. We went to his little acreage to buy some plants or something. The place, and the barn which was his refuge was spotless, but he did not invite us into the house.

    A friend was invited in, and said the trash was approximately waist high, with only narrow walk ways from door to door. Opened cans of fruit sat on cabinets, covered with mold. She would not let a single thing be tossed out.

    Any man who acted like that would be forced out of his own home, and would end up sleeping under a bridge in -30 degree weather. Since it’s a Goddess/woman, she gets supported by a man’s work.

    The second example I never saw. A distant cousin was working on family genealogy, and discovered the old family bible had been in the possession of a certain woman, who died probably in the 50′s. He contacted the man who was at that time estate administrator for that city in Minnesota, who told him it was not possible to properly dispose of her possessions, because when he went in after she died, the place was filled with trash.

    They brought in the dump trucks and men with shovels, and if anything good such as a family bible was in that mess, it was not practical to locate it in the mess.

  18. vic on February 23rd, 2007 9:01 pm

    she’s still better than the one I have…hang in there man.

  19. Steve MacLellan on February 25th, 2007 1:44 pm

    I don’t get it.

    I was watching the video. He complained about an old freezer that had been sitting in the garage there for a year or more. Did he expect her to strap it to her back and haul it a few miles down the road to the dump?

    No doubt he has a sick wife. I would think that would encourage him to take a on a little more responsibility for the upkeep.

    If he could hold the movie camera to film the video, he likely didn’t have two broken arms.

  20. curiepoint on February 26th, 2007 10:39 pm

    I concur that he should have stepped up to the plate and taken a more active hand. The first piece of trash that should have been kicked to the curb was her. I only fault him for the time it took him to realize it, but then again better late than never.

    Sick? Not bloody likely. This is not an example of who should have done what in this situation. This is pure and simply an issue of her contempt for the home that they share, and her acting out like a petulant little runt of a kid. We have enough syndromes and ailments and vexations that bear labels to excuse anyone’s bad behavior. Oops, sorry…any woman’s bad behavior. A guy doing the exact same thing this piece of c**p did would have been locked up on some sort of domestic abuse charge.

    Unless there’s evidence that she has a brain tumor, I don’t buy for a minute that she is sick.

  21. mike on March 2nd, 2007 3:09 pm

    My current girlfriend’s mother is similar to this. The garage reminded my right away of her parents. Any time a place is cleared her mother begins to pile stuff up. Non of it is needed. Hell i have found rain checks that expired 4 years ago stuffed neatly into stacks in the kitchen. It is nuts, the house does not have rooms so much as little pathways to move. One distinction I will make is that there is not much in the way of garbage or rotting food. All be it the house is filled to the gills with c**p it is not moldy food. What is funny is that they are always trying to get it under control or fix it. In the four years I have been dating their daughter I have seen the c**p get moved from room to room but never just thrown out. Seriously it is just sad at this point. Plus side I work in tv and although i do not have any connections at discovery channel, I am in the DC area so for some reason they heed my threats of getting the discovery channel to do a show (some house take over where they throw trash out).

  22. Lin on April 3rd, 2007 4:09 am

    Obviously the woman isn’t LAZY she has a mental illness. If you’ve never had a mental illness or loved some one with one, then shut up!!!

    How could he live in that house? hmm? Well think about how frazzled her sick little brain is to do that to her own home. Think about how tired her little mind must be from stowing garbage away like a squirrel with acorns prearing for the winter.

    She probably has a lot of stress about it and her husband no doubt has fought with her over it. She probably knows he will leave her, but her brain is so backwards and she is literally compelled to bring junk in the house so that being alone doesn’t even contend with stacking junk up in her home.

    Honestly, I feel sorry for that woman. I feel sorry for him too, But I think he should commit and “Baker Act” her. I’m sure he wouldn’t have a problem and in the meantime, get the house in order and if she wasn’t able to get better, he could leave. But I think if she were commited with hospital health care, he might be able to help her realize the damage she is doing to her family.

  23. rich on April 14th, 2007 3:50 pm

    I grew up in a house like this. I’m in my 30′s now and haven’t lived in the house since college, but my mom still lives there. People might say “why doesn’t he just throw the stuff away?” or “why doesn’t she get help?”. The fact is, people in this condition are very resistant to treatment, and are very protective of their god-awful mess. My mom had to listen to 3 kids and her husband pleading with her and sometimes yelling at her to clean up the trash- for 30 years. And the pile was never reduced, not even an inch. In fact it just got worse over the years. In our teen years it got so bad we could never have friends over- growing up and living in a mess like this had obvious psychological repurcussions on all of us. It’s a form of OCD called ‘compulsive hoarding’, and there is a stubbornness and resistance about it held by the victim that makes them refuse (violently at times) to do anything about it. Whenever my dad threw something away or tried to clean a room, my mom went nuts and threw a tantrum. She saw it as a personal attack, or a loss of some kind of control.

    My advice to to Ed? Sounds like he did all he could do to help her (and trust me, there isn’t much he can do). He simply needs to take care of *himself* now, and get the hell out of there- divorce her, separate from her, do whatever he needs to do.

  24. Curiepoint on April 22nd, 2007 7:11 am

    she needs to be pitied because she has a mental illness.

    He needs to forcibly commit her to an institution.

    He needs to take up the slack and clean up HER mess while she’s on vacation where she’s being pampered and told she’s unaccountable for anything.

    Laughable.

    and no, I will not shut up regardless of my experience with or exposure to mental illness.

    You cannot force people to accept help and care against their will. Doing so would only end with his further vilification by her friends and family, and quite probably be viewed as a form of abuse.

    He did the right thing by leaving her indolent, screwed up a*s. Burning the place to the ground would be adequate justice done.

  25. Beth on May 18th, 2007 5:09 am

    Ok, I’m a female with a husband that has filled my house with junk to the point that I can hardly walk through so I know first had what Ed is going through. However, in Ed’s case, since her wife has refused treatment, I advise him to let her go. It isn’t easy living with a person who has a mental illness even if one loves them. His wife’s life is hell but his doesn’t have to be. Dump her then have a great life.

  26. Dave on June 21st, 2007 6:31 pm

    I feel for him. I, myself am going though the same thing! Some say your hands arn’t broken?
    Well I have tried cleaning it myself but if she refuses to throw away anything. No matter who you are, you’re fighting a loosing battle!

    I want to get out myself. This sure comes as a close second to living with a drunk!
    Mine stays home. She’s a stay at home mom, so there’s no excuse!

    Still I must work 12 hours a day then come home and clean too? And I just can’t keep up with it. This is taking a toll on my health as well as on my children. I am having them sleep in their bed and watch roaches crawl on their bed! But there’s nothing I can bring into the courts with this, to get myself and my children out of this trash dump! Being a man, I am in a major disadvantage.

    HELP!!!

  27. BD on August 2nd, 2007 5:16 am

    After hinting at a seperation to my wife of 9 years, she wrote me a note talking about her “dedication to upholding our marriage vows,” and asked me “will you do the same?” Well, there were several major things I spoke to her about BEFORE we got married, and she promised me they would not be issues. Of course, they have become the MAIN problems, and for me, this means that she has NOT kept her vows to me.

    One of these is the cleanliness of the my house. I mean, how freaking hard is it to simply pick up after yourself? Must you be reminded ALL the time?? Don’t get me wrong, it’s not just “darnit baby, you left a coke can out again!” That’s not what I mean – I mean the entire house is covered – if I step out of my bed at night to use the bathroom, I fall over clothes, baskets, glasses, garbage, used dishes, etc, etc. This is insane! What kind of person does this c**p?

    I’m sick and tired of being told that she’s “upholding our marriage vows.” Things are so messy here now that I don’t bother putting up every single thing I get out anymore, mainly because it doesn’t matter where I put it – it still looks the same!

    I have done more than my fair share of “upholding my vows,” and I’m tired. I’ve been lied to. I may not have a prenup, but it doesn’t matter – I’m still broke as I ever was, if not more so – I’ve put her butt through college, working long hours at her insistance, not getting any emotional attention, everyone else coming before me; she gave me her spoken word, and that’s a binding contract in my opinion. I don’t easily give my word to ANYONE unless I really know that I am going to back it up.

    I grew up with my parents s******g me over and over again with lies and broken promises, messed up houses, yelling/screaming/fighting and a variety of other problems – the result was that I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE. I told her this BEFORE we got married and she said “All I want is to make you happy since you were treated so badly.” Now the only time I get “pampered” with affection is when I insinuate that I’m thinking about separation. This is absolutely unacceptable to me – I’m tired of being told I’m loved when there are no actions to back up that claim.

  28. esmith512 on November 22nd, 2007 12:45 pm

    Was this really the way it looked? It looks like a bomb went off in there! There’s literally nowhere to walk and the kitchen is nonfunctional as is. I can understand a place being moderately or even substantially cluttered (“lived in” is the polite phrase) as long as it isn’t impairing the lives and health of the occupants. But messes like this are clearly interfering with critical facilities (you can’t get to the sink, for example) takes a long time to accumulate, are very expensive in lost utility and excessive materials, and must have actively interfered with the ability to just exist in the home.

    Some people may be time-limited or distracted and eventually feel too overwhelmed to clean it up (they don’t know where to start–as amazing as that sounds), but if she was refusing to clean up the home and refusing to help you then it came to a point where her behavior became a health threat to both of you. It indicates she didn’t care about the environment or it’s occupants, was actively abusing you, or had other distracting issues.

    I see the picture and immediately have questions: What was she doing with her time? Why didn’t she care about this, or you, or herself? Why was she so irresponsible or abusive to you? Why was she so hostile to assistance (when most similarly placed people would beg for and greatly welcome help and relief)? But also you were an occupant in this environment. Was she preventing (distracting/fighting) you from cleaning things, or was your time occupied with tasks (a job) which prevented you from engaging in sufficient maintenance? Or was her personality, behavior, and personal environment so defective that living with her became a mental or physical health hazard?

    I’m sorry your marriage ended. If your spouse was uncooperative, hostile/abusive to, or disregarding of your health and safety your divorce and expelling her from your life was naturally obligatory. I wish your life be serene, prosperous, healthy, happy, and long. (And I hope her life goes well too.)

  29. Bethany on May 6th, 2008 11:07 am

    Um….

    I get it…i do. No one deserves to have their home look like that.

    BUT

    You cant tell me that ALL of that mess is entirely her fault.

    I take care of our 4 kids (under the age of 7) everyday. I also go to school and work part time. My husband works and goes to school as well.

    I feel that as a member of the household, my husband has a responsibility to do some of the chores too.

    And he does, for the most part.

    But i would be PISSED AS ALL HELL if he were to ever hold over the fact hat he works all damn day so I should be responsible for the house all by myself.

    Im not his mommy. and I work just as hard as he does.

    This guy needs to get rid of s**t, and take responsibility for his part as well.

  30. B2 on July 29th, 2008 10:12 am

    sorry to drudge up an old article, but this woman has a well-documented disorder referred to as ‘compulsive hoarding’ (look it up in Wikipedia). My Fiance’s dad has the same problem, so it has nothing to do with just women. A lot of you suggest the wife (or husband) is just ‘lazy’ – this is not the case. You can clean up all you want, but it doesn’t tackle the root of the problem, and it just comes back. There’s anywhere from 2 million to 3 million of these unfortunate souls in the US alone – rest assured there are things you can do, such as support groups and medication.

    But, it appears that for this fellow, Intervention is the best idea. You have to force these people to accept their problem, usually by imposing penalty to the action (such as a loved one leaving). To be truly affective though, you should involve mental health professionals, as just up and leaving them will usually only accelerate the condition.

  31. B2 on July 29th, 2008 10:13 am

    by the way, for those recommending he ‘stick it out’ – look up ‘Co-Dependency’ on Wikipedia, while you’re there.

  32. Axl on August 15th, 2008 6:03 am

    Just leave this house and woman.

Did you know there is someone right now in willing to cheat on their spouse to have fun with you?

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