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The Beautiful Bride Barbie Doll

December 21, 2006

barbie.jpgIt’s Christmas time and I found myself shopping at the local Toys R us for my 3 1/2 year old little girl. To my despair, I was subjected to 3 aisles of pure c**p. My pupils were being burned by the likes of dolls named “Bratz” and disturbing makeup kits that were “3 year old friendly”. As I stared at the mind numbing selection of various “Diva Packs” (make believe cell phones, lip glosses etc), I couldn’t help but think of Jon Benet Ramsey. The old doormat in me wanted to cry. I feared the make-believe life my daughter would live as a result of having grown up with these parasitic fem-toys.

One toy that has sadly become an American institution is the Barbie. Right up there with those sick and twisted Disney films that numb a little girl into la-la land. As Khankrumthebulgar puts it, “Reality cannot live up to cartoons. Women are trained to find a man with motivation from the beginning, starting with Disney classics like Cinderella (poor rag lures wealth under false pretenses), Lady and the Tramp (uppity b*tch-hound hopes to make over motivated mutt) and Sleeping Beauty (catatonic do-nothing wakes up to unearned riches). Thank you very much, Walt.”

As my stomach turned, I grabbed the box and repeatedly flipped it over and over in my hands as I did my best to search out a warning label.

WARNING: THE BEAUTIFUL BRIDE BARBIE DOLL IS HIGHLY ADDICTIVE
Studies have shown that playing marriage can some day lead to the real thing and unrealistic expectations of men.

WARNING: CHILDREN SEE AND CHILDREN DO
Your children are twice as likely to get married if you do. Half of all miserable marriages among life-long couples result from use of playing with this doll.

WARNING: THE BEAUTIFUL BRIDE BARBIE DOLL HURTS YOUR LONG TERM VIEW OF REALITY
Doll use during toddler years reduces the growth of cells that will later mature you and keep you grounded in reality. These smaller cells may not catch up in growth after high school, and the risks of unrealistic expectations and a lifetime of misery are increased.

Sadly I did not come across any such warning label, but I did manage to read the following:

“This glamorous bride is getting ready to walk down the aisle looking totally romantic. Beautiful long hair is braided at the crown and flows down in back with white flower hair accessories for the girl to wear and share. The fitted bodice rises above an exquisite full skirt with faux rhinestones. A choker of three strings of faux pearls, long white gloves and a full veil complete this gorgeous bridal ensemble.”

3 – 7 years
“These factors are also considered in labeling a product with a ‘best age range.’ While many children may enjoy products at different stages of their development, this rating is our suggestion for an age range which will best enjoy the product. … Based on your own experience with a product, feel free to also offer reviews and feedback on the website for other customers to learn from.”

I could not believe that they would suggest such a toy for a 3 year old. With one in two marriages failing in the United States every day and the rise and popularity of the current Men’s Movement and Marriage Strike knocking on the doors of the popular conscious, why would a toy manufacturer create such an appalling doll?

While the ending of the Beatles “Day in the life” was playing ’round in my head (the head tripping part after ” I love to turn you on.”); I was remembering some stats that Khankrumthebulgar posted on the Don’t Get Married Forum; last year Mark Mather reported that the “dramatic decline” in the married population is “one of the biggest demographic stories of the past several decades.” Now, married couples now account for a minority – 49.7% to be exact – of all U.S. households.

As a result of the decline of marriage, illegitimacy is on the upswing. Just last week the National Center for Health Statistics announced that almost four in 10 babies were born out-of-wedlock in 2005.

But there’s one fact that’s hard to dispute: our country faces an acute shortage of marriage-minded men.

Two years ago Barbara Whitehead and David Popenoe of Rutgers University did a national survey of single heterosexual men, ages 25-34. To everyone’s shock, they found 22% of the men declared no interest in finding their One and Only. That means two million American women will likely never see the inside of a wedding chapel.

I am not soured on romance, or the union between man and woman. I am soured by the institution of marriage in America. Granted, There is overwhelming research that shows marriage benefits both men and women in terms of their financial and emotional well-being. Plus, married folks live longer. I too have heard all that before.

So what do we need to do to entice men back into the courtship ritual? Again the eloquent Khankrumthebulgar has offered some possible remedies:

“First, we need to dispose of the boogeyman of the patriarchal ogre lording over his beleaguered wife. If that image was ever true, it certainly doesn’t apply to any couple that I know of. In fact, the reverse now seems to be more commonplace: the harried, henpecked husband who’s hectored to keep his feet off the furniture during the ball game.

Second, we need to consider the effects of the 1992 Supreme Court’s Planned Parenthood v. Casey decision that banned fathers from participating in decisions to keep the unborn baby, thus leaving them biologically disenfranchised.

Third, we’ve got to do more to help boys excel academically. Trash the Title IX quotas, provide special help for boys who are lagging, and tell teachers to stop expecting boys to act like girls.

Fourth, we need to do a major overhaul of our nation’s domestic violence laws, which allow any woman to plunder her husband’s assets and steal his children by merely claiming “abuse.”

And fifth, reform of our divorce laws is long overdue, so fathers are encouraged to remain involved in their children’s lives as parents, not every-other-weekend visitors.”

Will the government do anything about it? Probably not.

Lee, a fellow brother on the Don’t Get Married Forum suggests the obvious:

“Why is this happening? Because the government will grow to service this constituency.

1) Children raised only by mothers are poor:

More work for government Welfare, SSI, SDI and Unemployment benefits workers.

2) Behavioral Problems:

More work for government social workers and therapists.

3) Academic Problems:

More work for government educators.

4) Trouble with the law:

More work for government correctional, judicial and police workers.”

Khankrumthebulgar wakes me up out of my despair: “Women want, need, and desire to be wanted and loved. Some are now openly saying Feminism has screwed them. Duh, only men are no longer willing to trust them. And are unwilling to come back to negotiate a ‘New Deal’. Why the hell should men? Go get your love from your ‘Sugar Daddy Uncle Sam’.”

I dropped the doll and ran like Forest Gump out of the aisle and to the front door, knocking over some guy’s shopping cart. What really freaked me out was he looked like a 21 year old version of myself (handsome, that’s a given); and he was holding a Yoo-hoo! Imagine that! I shook my head and said, “Don’t do it, Don’t ever get married; and continued my run to my Gremlin parked outside. Looks like I will have to visit Target tomorrow. I’m going to pick up for my little one, a box of Lincoln Logs, just like I had as a boy.

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7 Responses to “The Beautiful Bride Barbie Doll”

  1. Khankrumthebulgar on December 22nd, 2006 4:37 am

    As a Father of two Daughters myself. The Oldest married with Three Sons. I worry about my Grandsons, and Sons. Having seen the predatory Nature of Women encouraged by the likes of Oprah and other apologists for Feminism. Oprah has never been married, has no children and yet advises Millions of US Women on how to live their lives. She is also considered to be a “Spiritual Advisor”, more nonsense to distract Women from their Religious roots.

    The Churches and Houses of Worship in our Republic have abandoned Men. Too many of the Clergy were too busy having s*x with their own members or even children. And have fully abdicated their responsibility to protect the Family. Stop with the pretense already it is the “Leaven of the Pharisees” aka. hypocricsy. Marriage in the US is an Adhesion Agreement. Under any contract Law it is so one sided as to be an invalid Contract or void contract. No judge would ever sanction such a one sided Business Contract.

    And to make matters worse the so called Values Party, has fully caved into the Feminists. This according to Carey Roberts and David Usher. There was a 100% approval by the Republican Majority US Senate of the VAWA.

  2. cherry_jujube2 (A Female) on February 4th, 2007 11:58 am

    The toy aisle scares me too. I would never buy dolls like that for my daughters, if I have any. Horses are better, and Legos are best. (Man, I loved Legos. Yes, I was a bit of a tomboy…so what?)

  3. obbop on March 9th, 2007 7:29 pm

    Pondered then pondered some more.

    “…22% of the men declared no interest in finding their One and Only. That means two million American women will likely never see the inside of a wedding chapel.”

    Those silly vacuous females, acculturated to behave and think as others believe they should. Unable to shrug off the brainwashing that makes them desire, often demand the incredibly expensive bauble holding a diamond as a proof of love, an incredibly expensive wedding and for a male to be their virtual slave for life.

    So sorry, little princesses, too many of you are not going to witness your childish fantasies come true. You won’t even be able to sucker in a jaded old pudgy guy such as I.

    You are unwanted.

    So, what to do?

    Well, America’s balance of trade with foreign countries is a negative number. We import more than we export. That is one of many reasons the average male blue collar worker is taking an economic beating nowadays.

    But, we can offset that trade imbalance a wee bit!

    In China and India, male children are valued much more than female children. The male child is a financial positive, while the female is a financial negative. Hmm…. kinda’ sorta’ in a roundabout way similar to the USA today. But, I digress.

    Using various methods, parents in China and India are ensuring they have male children. There is an ever-growing percentage of males in those two countries without enough females being born to provide the few benefits that females provide to men. Thus………….

    Export the millions of American females to India and China!!!! American females will find a ready audience of males desiring them. Yes, girls, your husbands await!

    One thing, girls, be forewarned that the antics you use here in the USA will NOT be tolerated in either China nor India. You WILL know your place in society and you will conform. But, you WILL get that lusted-after husband so many of you apparently yearn for.

    Go for it, girls. Too many American males have tired of your games and are unwilling to put up with you.

    I just wonder how much we can charge those in other nations for our excess females?

  4. truthseeker on March 13th, 2007 10:26 pm

    I recently attended a wedding (poor b*****d). He’d inadvertently knocked her up after a one-night stand at a party. Cue, four years later, her BIG Day. I took photos on the day and boy do they tell a story… he pulls away from his bride, but he looks happy with his daughter. They’ve had fights and breakups aplenty yet she wanted this marriage and he already knows there’ll be a messy divorce just a few years down the track.

    Some of her clueless female friends were happily enthusing about what a great couple they make. Ahem; either these people are ignorant of what goes on when guests go home or they are fantasists. I guess these girls were looking forward to their own big days.

    The morning after the ceremony I saw his daughter playing with her dolls. She had a bride and a groom and they were getting married. It’s cyclic, guys; unless people learn to see the bad as well as the good, unless we stop indoctrinating people, then the bad marriages will just keep happening.

  5. cerise on April 20th, 2007 12:36 pm

    First off, I really like this site. Granted, I don’t agree with all of it (some rants just go off to the opposite extreme), but I do agree with the main points and some of this stuff is hilarious!

    Now back to the article, I agree with this guy. Children’s toys start the brainwashing at a young age. I hate those S****y Bratz dolls and, if I’d have kids (hell no), they would not be allowed one. Barbie’s are ok most of the time to me as long as it’s not perpetuating a stereotype. i.e. Bride Barbie. I hate that women think their role in life is to grow up, get married and have kids. I also hate that men do the same thing – grow up, go to college, get a good job, get married, have kids. Those both end up in the same place – misery.

    I was 20 when I realized I didn’t have to follow a mold. I knew everyone expected me to go to college, meet a young man, get married and pop out a bunch of brats but you know what? I didn’t want that. I like being independent. I like living by myself. I like paying for my own things. I like s*x. I like to have my own hobbies. I like silence and not having to talk to someone when I get home from work. What I hate is people who lived the stereotypes as children, girls playing house with their dolls and boys playing with their matchbox cars, and now they live them as adults without even thinking about what they are doing. It’s not just women, it’s men too. We all have to open our eyes and start thinking about what we are doing and why we are doing it. We shouldn’t do stuff just because “that’s what you do”. We should do it because it’s the best thing for us. If you don’t want to get married, don’t. If you don’t want kids, don’t. If you want to travel the world, do. If you want to become a librarian and your parents want you to become a doctor, become the librarian. Don’t put up with misery in your life if you can help it.

    Divorce sucks, I know. My parents were married 4 times EACH. I’m not married and don’t really care if I ever do. If I do though, I certainly am NOT spending thousands of dollars on a stupid wedding. Screw that. I’ll elope and spend the money on something more worthwhile.

    And no, I’m not single. I’m with a guy who actually has the s*x drive of a woman married 10 yrs (which sucks a*s because I could do it everyone day at least once). He wants to get married, but why should I? I don’t care about a stupid rock – diamonds are ugly anyway (so plain and boring, plus no imagination whatsoever), I don’t care about being married – I can take care of myself, and I don’t want kids – I already know what a nightmare that would be.

    I am a great cook, I clean, I can change a flat tire, I don’t care if I break a nail, I want my BF to go out with his friends, I make him his favorite desserts, etc etc and he does nice things for me back. In fact, he says I’m the only sane woman he’s ever dated – I’m normal. Its a give and take, if only people would learn that.

    Anyway, I think you guys are doing a great service. Maybe all the doormat, angry and sad men in the world can learn something and grow a set and maybe the women who actually think can spread the word to the materialistic harpies that they need to shut up and be nice for once. I can’t tell you how many divorced men I’ve met who up front say they are never getting married again and they’ve had a vasectomy as a come on line. They are ruined now (I love that they got a vasectomy but now their mantra is all women are evil). It’s sad, really. Everyone needs to learn how to be happy and do it. Don’t cave in to societal pressures just because they think that’s what you should do. And, BE NICE to each other already!

  6. Alexandra on February 13th, 2008 2:49 pm

    I hear they may come out with a Divorced Barbie–she comes with all of Ken’s things.

  7. Master of My Domain on February 14th, 2008 8:24 am

    I stumbled across this recently and thought it was intersting enough to post:

    Does Barbie really make women hate their bodies?

    In 1995, researchers at the University of Arizona studied how African-American and Caucasian girls viewed their bodies [Source: University of Arizona]. They asked teenaged girls to describe their own bodies as well as what a perfect girl would look like. African-American girls were reluctant to assign physical traits to an ideal girl, but Caucasian girls gave roughly the same description. Their idea of an ideal girl was 5 feet 7 inches tall, weighed about 100 pounds and had long hair. Researchers called this description “a living manifestation of a Barbie doll” [Source: Quindlen].

    Some researchers have used this as evidence that Barbie dolls encourage women to strive to have bodies that are unattainable. Some say Barbie is responsible for breast implants and eating disorders. However, there hasn’t been a large-scale study directly linking playing with Barbie dolls to low self-esteem or increased eating disorders. There haven’t been any studies proving that girls want to look like Barbie dolls, either. In fact, a 2005 British study revealed that girls often deface or mutilate their Barbie dolls while leaving their other toys unharmed [Source: Live Science].

    However, one study has suggested that toys with unattainable proportions might affect a person’s self-image. But the study didn’t involve Barbie — it involved male subjects and Ken dolls as well as action figures like the Hulk and G.I. Joe. The men in the study reported a more negative self image after playing with hyper-muscular action figures than after playing with Ken [Source: s*x Roles: A Journal of Research]. If playing with a toy can affect men in this way, it may affect women similarly.

Did you know there is someone right now in willing to cheat on their spouse to have fun with you?

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