13 Ways A Wife Can Please Her Husband
November 29, 2006
Gentlemen, before you consider dumping your wives, it is very important that you give them one last chance to straighten up before you ship them out. We certainly do not want you to leave a bad impression with your soon to be ex-wife’s side of the family, nor do we want her friends to speak ill of you either. So how about some good advice from an obediant and respectful Christian lady named Annie Angel. Annie has listed over a dozen saving graces your wife could do, to win your good humor back. Simply visit her site and print her list and leave it for your wife on the dirty stove. Chances are when you return, not only will you have a clean stove, but you will enjoy a healthy resurrection of your marriage; and your friends here at dumpyourwifenow.com will be nothing but a fond memory wishing you well at your second chance for happiness.
To be a good wife ladies, Ms. Angel suggests that you awaken before your husband and make sure “you are showered and dressed with your hair fixed and your make-up on”. But most importantly “ALWAYS serve fresh orange juice for him at breakfast”. And Ms. Angel further states that “only whores use frozen.”
Be sure ladies that you do NOT sit down with your husband at breakfast, for the “sound of your chair scraping on the floor will be a distraction to him as you get up and down to fetch him more biscuits or find his briefcase for him.”
Ms. Angel also serves up other jewels of marital wisdom such as, “Have a snack ready for him to eat as you finish dinner. If he is not happy with your choice of snack DO NOT POUT, it’s your fault. He’s had a busy day and he’s not psychic. Replace the snack immediately with what he wants.”
And our personal favorite for marital harmony, “After dinner you may begin clearing the table as he waits for you to bring his dessert. … If he aims a playful swipe at your backside during the clearing, respond with an ‘oh you!’, smile and continue to the kitchen to get his dessert.”
She further exudes her tips for marital bliss, “when choosing a dessert, remember a fat man is a faithful man and a full man falls asleep fast. Use lots of rich icings and creamy fillings.”
And ladies (feminasties); you can see more of this amazing self-help list, by visiting the original author Annie Angel and email her with your thanks and praise. Annie is a 36 year old fitness professional and is just wild about Jesus. She penned this article as originally titled, How To Be A Good Christian Wife. Your Thanks and praise mail is more than welcome to join the already 300 plus comments over there. However, if you ladies (feminasties) are so inclined to brow beat us here for singing her praises, we are more than happy to be entertained by your rants. There is a link above for you to holler at us.