Become The Alpha Male

November 10, 2006

divorce-relationships01.jpgHow awesome would it be if all a guy had to do to turn into an Alpha Male was to pop a pill and voila the next day he’d wake up full of confidence and power to be king of his jungle.

Sadly, there is no pill, but that doesn’t mean you’re forgotten. The gang here at has put together a quick checklist for you.

- Short on time: The Alpha man has places to go, people to see. He does not have 3 hours for phone calls. He does not have the time to wait on a woman more than 15 minutes when she’s late. He does not have more than a minute to wait for her to talk to someone else on call waiting. (I hang up on women that leave me dangling on call waiting or hold. If that other call is so important, they can call the other person back. When was the last time you really had an “emergency” phone call?)

- Self-interested, first and foremost: This is not to be confused with selfish, or self-centered. It only means that the Alpha Man’s life and his fun come first. If he doesn’t act to ensure his own satisfaction in life, he’ll die a miserable martyr.

- Creates his own reality: An Alpha Man realizes that he cannot be dependent on anyone to make his life fun, so he must do it himself. He creates a “bubble” of happiness, fun, and good spirits around himself, so that when he encounters a new person he’s confident that he will be interesting just by the aura of power he exudes.

- Uses his wits first, then his brawn: A true Alpha knows that today’s man doesn’t have to fight and hunt for his survival the way our ancestors once did. We now have the luxury of forging a new kind of dominant man that does not need to physically overpower his enemies. He knows that using his smarts and his instincts are most important.

- Does not need other’s approval: The Alpha knows that his own way of life has been created for himself, and he knows that since he has defined his ethics, his own rules of behavior, and code of honor, his confidence has already been established. What other people think of this is secondary. He does not need anyone else to give a stamp of approval for the way he chooses to live his life.

- Is gentle and empathic: And he knows when to rein in his emotions to serve the greater good. He knows that you don’t have to be a hard-a*s all the time, and those men that throw their weight around are usually the least confident. (There’s a saying – The empty barrel makes the most noise.)

- Is definite about what he wants: The Alpha knows what he wants from life, and he is actively pursuing it. He sets specific goals and plans for their achievement. He knows how to make decisions quickly.

- Understands the role of risk in life: He is aware that the unhappiest life is the one that ends in regret – of the things not done. He knows and understands the saying – “The dreams of youth are the regrets of maturity.” He knows that life is a great adventure – or nothing.

- Does not bet more than he can afford to lose: The Alpha Man doesn’t risk more than he can afford to lose, and he understands when caution is required for balance. He understands risk and reward, and how to assess them

- Forgives himself for his failures: He knows that the only men who do not fail are those that do not try. Failure is part of life. Hurry up and fail so you can get to success quicker is his motto.

- Grows every day: The Alpha Man knows that the only way to stay at the head of the evolutionary pack is to learn and grow to his limits. Those who are not growing are dying. He reads books and literature every single day. He sets attainable goals and focuses his drive and ambition toward their achievement. There’s plenty of time to be mellow and relaxed when he’s dead. Life is very short, and he’s got plenty of work to do here.

- Knows that Women are a Secondary Goal, never a Primary Goal: Women and s*x are an important part of the evolutionary drive, but they are not a focus for the Alpha Man’s life. Women will be the side benefit of a life that is fully lived, and confidently navigated.

- Controls his Passions and his Demons: The Alpha Man knows what his strengths and weaknesses are in life, and he uses them to his betterment and success. His passions keep him moving forward with purpose, and he knows the value of balance in this pursuits. He also knows his vulnerabilities, and he cultivates the self-discipline to not let them get the better of him.

- Has a well-developed sense of humor: The Alpha Man knows that nothing in life is that serious, and he knows how to laugh at himself, as well as the rest of the world. He makes others laugh and feel good about themselves.

- Recognizes that Time is the most valuable asset: Even more than money, time is priceless. As the saying goes, you can’t take it with you, and you don’t want to wind up at the end of your life having pursued wealth and then have no time to enjoy it in. No one on their deathbed wishes they spent more time at the office. Time is all you have to spend. Never, ever let yourself “kill time.” That’s really killing yourself.

- Is mature and confident enough to put his ego aside: The Alpha knows that his ego is just a figment of his imagination. When he makes it a priority to protect his “image,” he will inevitably fall prey to the disillusioning affect of pride. Only insecure men need to protect their ego at the expense of learning and growing

- Focuses on the long-term vision rather than the short-term gains: Guys have a propensity for tunnel vision when it comes to certain enticements in life, like money and women. He knows when to delay short-term gratification to serve his goals.


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2 Responses to “Become The Alpha Male”

  1. Obbop on November 11th, 2007 6:24 am

    What a well-written essay!!!! Bravo!!!

    Let the accolades swarm and multiply.

    As one who considers himself to be at least a partial Alpha Male, allow little old me to toss in a caveat that ONLY applies to me.

    Over the decades I have not attained some of the goals mentioned in the essay. One of the reasons for this has been the strong desire from an early age to avoid others who want control over me.

    Bosses, politicians, bureaucrats, so many entities that want to control me, including females.

    Living as a “social animal” it is impossible to avoid all control by others but it can be minimized.

    However, sacrifices must be made.

    Thus, no female companionship within a marriage scenario. Oh, sure, tried the live together routine when younger but gave up on that over 20 years ago and have huddled within the shanty alone since then. Alone but quite happy.

    Did not follow the proverbial money trail since existing within the corporate structure held no appeal and, at times, the mere thought of being a corporate droid led to repulsive dread of “being a team player” within the constructs of BIG business.

    What I write of applies only to me, my psyche, my persona. Assuredly there are Alpha Males who fit right into “the scheme of things.”

    But, to be what I am, outside the norm, free-thinking and happier than average from my viewpoint, some sacrifices had to be made.

  2. Barnoz on March 2nd, 2008 3:33 am

    I think it’s great you are putting forward a positive image of what a self-realised man really is. There are plenty of men talking about feminism and the damage it has done – this is valuable but we also need to repair our ideals about what men should strive to be.

    Your website is enlightening and an inspiration.

Did you know there is someone right now in willing to cheat on their spouse to have fun with you?

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