Fake Boobies, Twinkies, Yoo-hoo And The Girl From India

November 3, 2006

Beautiful Indian WomanYou got to love those big fake boobies of the American woman of the west. California women with their boob jobs, fake lips and their Louis Vuitton handbags amuse me. As these bold, vain and empowered women take their wimpy, doormat, dentist and doctor husbands to divorce court and virtually destroy their hubby’s manhood mentally and financially; I am reminded by what appears as the opposite extreme in another part of the world.

In Hyderabad, India, an over zealous alpha male has been arrested and charged with assault for locking up his wife (no fake breasts here) in a room for three years and making her drink her own urine. He did this after she opposed him taking a second wife, the police said.

Asha Begum, the wife of construction foreman Mohammed Shadulla, was chained and held captive in a room with no windows in their home. She had managed to escape when Shadulla accidentally left the door open after cleaning the room.

The staff here at has offered to fly the natural breasted Asha to our office, where we not only promise to clean our office up for her, but to lavish her with a Hoo-nami of Yoo-hoo fudgy goodness and our endless supply of Ho-ho’s and Twinkies (which have been tinglin taste buds for over 75 years). We will show Asha how wonderfully creamy and delicious these little treats are!

We also offered Mr. Shadulla, the ex-wife of one of our staff writers. It’s a humble gesture of our American good will. We know he will take good care of her.


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3 Responses to “Fake Boobies, Twinkies, Yoo-hoo And The Girl From India”

  1. Frederik on November 7th, 2006 1:30 am


    I am a belgian dude, my girlfriend has fake boobs and a really bitchy attitude.
    I was in eastern europe – Slovakia (near russia, poland, ukraine).  The girls are really so much better there.
    I think we should all skip to the girls who are nice to us and don’t b***h!

    Good luck guys
    I will break up soon, and finally travel again :-)

  2. Shauna on January 28th, 2007 2:57 pm

    I thought it was funny when I heard David Cross (a quite humorous comedian) talk about how women who get lip-jobs make their mouths look like a big red a*****e.

    I can say I agree.

    While I live in California, I would venture to say that most of the scary materialistic “b*****s” live more in the LA and southern areas of the state. Up in Northern and Mid-CA, you just have to watch out for the Neo-Hippies and the Vegans (yuck! I love my meat!)

    As for me, I can safely say that my experiences with females is that it takes all types. If you go after “a*****e mouth”, don’t be surprised when you get thrown for a loop. This is not to say that “normal” women can’t be b*****s, but in my experience, there’s a lot more going on in the head of the intelligent woman than you would think; and most of them are just looking for someone who will enjoy life with them.

    On the other hand, remember, it’s hardly fair to compare a society like the US to India. In the US, even if a man gets his money taken from him (usually due to benevolent-to-the-woman sexism on the judge’s part), he doesn’t have to suffer human rights violations.

    Think about being forced to s**t and p*e in a small room with no windows or doors. Think about the humiliation of being treated like less than an animal for even a week, and you’ll see that it’s about as comparable as saying a hangnail is as excruciating as AIDS.

    While the things done to men in divorce court are no fair, I can give you some anecdotal evidence that might cheer you up.

    My husband’s mother just finally divorced her husband after 25 years of being verbally abused and dragged into debt.

    Not only did the husband sit around and not do anything around the house, but he also bought very expensive things on his wife’s credit, causing them to go into horrible debt. Not only that, but he verbally and emotionally abused his son (my husband) and treated him like s**t because he would rather be in the band than the football team.

    After a long time, she finally left him, but he got the house, and most of the property. She also ended up having to pay for all the electricity and food for him to live because when he got a job, it didn’t pay much (even though he has a law degree, he could never pass the Bar exam because of fear that he would fail).

    They didn’t officially divorce until last year (finally after much prodding from both my husband and myself, she had the strength to do it), and now she is not having her wages garnished anymore, but the IRS is still on her a*s about back taxes (her husband did not file taxes while they were separated and this caused the IRS to come after HER instead).

    Because my husband was 19 or so when they divorced, there was no child custody stuff, but he still got a good amount of money from her, as well as the house in the country with over 10 acres of land (and in CA, that’s a lot of money).

    So, really, if you want to look at it; the one with the bigger income is the one that gets screwed.

    So sometimes I think this is the main reason why women want to ‘stay at home’ (stay at home and do what? sit on your a*s?! I can clean the house and take care of things fine while also working!).

  3. Ghostdog on August 27th, 2007 1:37 pm

    I don’t understand this backlash against plastic surgery and I don’t think I ever will. And this does not mean that, I, myself endorse it or am against it. I just don’t understand how, what a person does for themselves, to themselves is anybody’s business.

    To get you all riled up or so you don’t think I am trying to hide anything I will tell you that my fiancée had large jubblies and she also elected for jubbly implant surgery because she felt she was losing some of that perky quality that her friends with smaller jubblies have. She is currently a 34FF/34G and a petite 5ft 2, 120ish-lbs and I can hear the jokes coming.

    I think some of you really seem to have a big problem with jubbly implants. I’m trying to think why? I understand the potential sociological & psychological implications that are always thrust on these women as if they have no mind of their own. And you know, maybe some of them don’t, maybe most of them don’t but because some or most do it for what may be the wrong reasons, does that make it wrong for everyone? Apparently, so. My guess would be that some of you are those that would make an obnoxious comment or roll there eyes at my fiancée. Why? What’s the point? Why is it so important to seem to be superior? Usually this stems from people who have low self-esteem and like to lash out against others or others who are different. Perhaps I’m wrong.

    “I support a woman’s right to choose whatever she wants to do to her body, but I would urge you to look into the social and psychological side effects as well as the physical ones.”

    This seems to be the same type of response I have seen on other blogs. One woman went on and on where it seemed like she was going to explode about how “evil” jubbly implants were and wanted to start a group against them. I told her, Let me ask you something…. How much work do you do espousing the evils of unprotected s*x in your local community? I’m sure you must because more women die each year because of having unprotected s*x than getting jubbly implants and I know that you said it yourself that “there are more important issues to spend time and money on besides enhancing jubblies” so I am guessing that you spend a lot of time helping them and donate a lot of money as well. Also, are you a MADD supporter? Because you know that more people each year by getting into an accident with a drunk driver than into an accident with fake jubblies. So with this money you have saved and all this time you have because of not getting jubbly implants, enlighten us with all your accomplishments. I think you see where we are going here so unless you are Mother Teresa I think you are basically just using the drama of your statement very haphazardly. I always love to hear the holier than though talking about the evils of the world while they are snacking on potato chips and watching “Joey”.

    Anyway, it should be everyone’s choice to do what they want to themselves in my mind. You want to kill yourself? Go ahead, but think about it first and make sure you are making the right decision. You want to put tattoo’s all over your body. Go ahead but think about it first. I don’t like tattoo’s at all but Im not going to go on a rampage about it. I don’t have any numbers to back this up but I would bet there are some people that die each year because of poorly sterilized tattoo needles or infections from them, no? Think about the repercussions of what you are going to do and than make an “adult” decision about it or at least as much of an adult decision you are capable of. I do think you should have to be of a certain age and personally I think 18 is too young so that seems to fall more on the ethics of the doctors than the patient. And yes, I often question the ethics of the medical profession but it is what it is. To somewhat quote one of our posters, It would seem that there are more important things to do than worry about some other woman’s jubblies and if they are fake or not. Who cares? Get on with your life! As long as you are happy that’s all that matters. I would be equally as angry if someone made a rude comment about my fiancées big jubblies or your small jubblies. It’s just obnoxious behavior and done be feeble little minds.

    One person said, We talk about the dangers of surgery for what you get out of it… “bigger jubblies” but let me pose this. If you could have a surgical procedure down where you could double your intelligence and it would be as risky as that of the surgery of jubbly implants… would you do it? If you could have surgery that would allow you to live twice as long, where at 86.4 years you would look and feel 33.2 years old or at 172.8 years old you would look and feel 86.4 years old, (Dow better get working on that.. I don’t think I want to see that :) )with the same risks that would be taken under normal jubbly implant surgery, would you do it? Let’s be realistic. I think most of us would and even if most of us wouldn’t why shouldn’t that be offered to those would like that option?

    Ok, lastly, Because I know this is going to degenerate into the “physical beauty” is not as important as spiritual, intellectual blah blah. Any idiot can see that we put a greater value on our perceived physical beauty in America as witnessed by the 2 dopes, Bush & Clinton we elected into office over the last 15 years but I don’t want this to turn into a political discussion. But let’s talk about beauty or perceived beauty.

    Every culture has a different view of what beauty the hispanic culture typically founds a larger tush appealing, in some tribes they have the neck rings which make the neck extremely long, not my idea of beauty but to some like it. The reason women get jubbly implants.. I’m going out on a limb here… They for some reason do not like their jubblies? Some people will say it’s vanity. And I think that is 100% hypocritical. I don’t think there is a person around that does not try to look “good” for the people around them. Otherwise we would spend time buying clothes, trying them on, seeing if they fit, “just right”, putting on make up, getting their haircut yada yada yada. This is all done to attract the opposite s*x or same s*x, what have you. We can debate on and on over what is worse, the risks of surgery or that four thousand dollars that was spent on that new wardrobe when your credit cards are maxed out. Each presents a risk and each person needs to determine their own risk.

    Each person determines what their own idea of beauty is. It’s like saying that Van Gogh is better than Renoir or that Bresson is better than Dreyer or for that matter that Adam Sandler is funnier than Albert Brooks “UG”. The point is that the one thing we are very lucky is the fact that we have the right to choose. As much as I have tremendous amount of disdain for the media-produced, non-thinking presidential puppets we parade, the one thing we still have, is the right to think as we please. So far……… :)

    Move on to more important issues. As Hegel states: The higher truth lies somewhere in the middle of two extremes. In this instance that may be between “A” and “HHH” :)

Did you know there is someone right now in willing to cheat on their spouse to have fun with you?

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