10 Reasons Smart Men Won’t Commit

November 2, 2006

divorce-relationships16.jpgReason 1: Smart Men have figured out how to get s*x without committing to marriage. These gifted intelligent beings have stated that meeting women is much easier now than meeting women in the past: They are meeting at bars and clubs, at the office, through pals, and on the Information super highway. Men don’t mind becoming friends with a woman before committing to a serious relationship. regards to casual encounters, that’s just too easy now for them.

Reason 2: Smart men are now enjoying the benefits of having all the amenities a woman can bring to the table without having to sign their life away forever. These smart men know that living together without a Marriage license is less risky than getting married. They also enjoy the frequent “Nookie” and they also share expenses. No need for these men to get married when they got it made at this point in their life.

Reason 3: These savvy smart men have wised up to the “woman of today”. Those women that feel compelled to trade up from man to man by taking each one for his financial empire are running out of victims. These smart men are on to their game and usually refuse to ever get married.

Reason 4: Smart Men want to wait until they are older to have kids. Although men understand that women worry about their biological clocks, they say they don’t have to. And they don’t want to be pressured into tying the knot by women who want marriage in order to have kids.

Reason 5: Smart men savor their freedom to enjoy hobbies, late nights out and freedom from extra financial burdens. Smart Men fear that marriage will require too many changes and compromises

Reason 6: Smart men said they don’t want to settle for second-best. They are waiting for the perfect soul mate and she hasn’t arrived yet. They define a soul mate, as a woman who accepts them just as they are and won’t try to change them. In some cases, the men even said they were living with a woman who was their version of a second-best partner. These smart men are continuing to hunt for that perfect soul mate.

Reason 7: Smart Men face few social pressures to marry. Today’s smart young men encounter few traditional pressures from religion, employers or society to get married. Some said they have been teased by their parents who want grandchildren, but most of the men said their parents are willing to help support them — and even allow them to move back home — until they are ready to get married.

Reason 8: Smart Men are reluctant to marry a woman who already has kids. Men said they feel badly if they establish a relationship with the kids of a woman and then break up with the mom. They also want to avoid competition and conflict with the kid’s biological dad. They also said it is easier to date a woman with kids if the dad is entirely out of the picture.

Reason 9: They want to own a home before they consider getting a wife. Smart men want to be financially “set” before they consider marriage.

Reason 10: Smart Men want to enjoy a single life as long as they can. Smart men are accustomed to their own space and routines. They enjoy the freedom of not having to be responsible to anyone else.

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25 Responses to “10 Reasons Smart Men Won’t Commit”

  1. Khankrumthebulgar on December 4th, 2006 6:15 pm

    Two words Tom Leykis. Tom Leykis nationally syndicated Radio program, and the Men’s Movement is telling Men to “Hit and Get it”. In other words use US Women as s****l Companions sans commitment. Do not make a commitment, cohabitate or spend money on Gold Digging s****s. There are plenty of young Horny and Willing Women out there. No reason to give up your Freedom, to be a Cuckhold for some Single Mom who is not worth making a life with. Since she will get tired of you any way and move on to the next Bigger Better Deal.

    This advice along with Steele b***s, Marc Rudov and other Men are blowing the whistle on the Double Standards of US Women. They have really and truly screwed the pooch. And paybacks as they say are a real b***h.

  2. Bill on December 7th, 2006 9:49 pm

    Actually, the term is “Hit it and quit it”.

    Not bad advice. “Hit it” which, let’s face it, is the sole reason for a man to date a woman in the first place, makes sense.

    “Quit it” is what to do when a woman becomes bitchy, demanding or sexually withholding. No action by the third date? Done!

    A relationship can actually form after you have had s*x with her, like it, and you can actualy hear what she has to say. (We men don’t hear a thing until our first o****m).

    Single Moms? BTDT and never again!

  3. Shauna on January 28th, 2007 3:08 pm

    For some reason, I keep thinking of that movie “About a Boy” where the main character pretends to be a single dad and takes advantage of a bunch of single moms, but has casual s*x with them and uses his invisible son as a reason to keep things casual.

    It was pretty funny.

    I think that it’s a good idea to be a “smart man” when looking for a relationship. Way too many people “settle” or go for someone who doesn’t measure up to what they want in a partner.

    And I feel that perhaps “perfection” is less important than “fitting the requirements for the most rewarding relationship.” After all, part of a good relationship comes from being able to give each other space, to be able to grow and change together, and to accommodate all the things that need to be done for everyone to be happy.

    Personally, there are at least four things you have to be in agreement before you tie the knot, and these things are:

    1) s*x
    2) Religion
    3) Politics
    4) Money

    If you can’t deal with vast differences in any of these areas, BEWARE! I find that testing someone out and seeing how they spend their money; how they budget, and how they save are very big indicators of how they’ll be in marriage. If you look at me, my biggest expenses are mostly groceries and gas for the car. The basics, if you will. I also have handy knowledge on how to take care of my car (my dad taught me a lot about how to fix and maintain cars), and the household while maximizing my time and money.

    Being truly intelligent (ie: doing your research and inquiring before buying into something) is a very important thing in a spouse, and too many men and women are lacking in these qualities.

    Plus, I always say that even if a man has lots of s*x, it’s not necessarily good s*x, even if he gets his rocks off. And if he’s stupid and doesn’t use protection, that’s even worse. He could get infected with a viral s*d and then infect future partners, or even worse, infect his wife/future children with the disease because he’s having s*x behind her back.

    I would much rather a man be honest about philandering, than to be putting his family and his own life in danger.

    After all, while I might be upset if I got cheated on, I would be much more upset if I also got infected with HIV or HPV or the like.

    So men, be careful, cover up, and get regular screenings for your health and the health of your partners.

  4. Chrissy on March 4th, 2007 11:36 am

    Marriage isn’t everything. It seems to be a tie down to most already married couples. I am single and I commute to work everyday and talk to married people all the time. Most do nothing but b***h and complain and they’re never happy, while some are going through divorces and b***h that it costs a fortune to go through it. They use kids as excuses for staying in a miserable messy marriage.

    Why waste years of your life waiting for the kids to grow up? The kids suffer more when parents stay anyway.

    There’s not just smart men who won’t commit, there are plenty of smart women who won’t commit either. I’m a middle aged woman and I have found marriage to be a waste of money and time. My feeling is, live together, and don’t sign anything and if you are not happy, there’s no laws against you nor your ASSETS. Don’t marry someone with kids, I’ve done it, it’s bad (your aways 2nd, 3rd -whatever). Too much involvement with the child’s other parent – so right about that! Baggage is not worth it!

    Do your own thing, be happy with yourself and know what you want in life. If a man/woman can’t live up to those standards, then what’s the point of trying?

  5. obbop on March 8th, 2007 8:00 am

    Fifty years old, never married. Came to many of the conclusions I read on this post decades ago.

    Basically, shunned the females due to a desire to have a simple basic life that is as worry-free as possible. No, not g*y!!!!

    Over the years I have been repeatedly told by other males that they envy me, that life with a female is full of woe and misery sprinkled with a few brief moments of happiness.

    I refused to be brainwashed by societal mores. I heard my own drummer and marched to it.

    Do I “hate” females? Nope. I just avoid them as much as possible. I also avoid males possessing what I categorize as an inferior intellect.

    I am unsure to what extent causes females to be as they are; is it innate biological reasons, acculturation or a combination of the two. Whatever the reason, I advise all males to think long and hard about mingling with females. Sure, there are some decent females out there but I believe they are a minute minority.

  6. Tom on March 31st, 2007 7:33 am

    Difficult to say if this new reality is a “sad state” or an opportunity to evolve. Probably both—change is seldom comfortable—but also, certainly a “fissioning” toward individuality and selfishness. Selfishness is not inherently a bad thing, but it makes it more difficult for one to think in terms of aggregates (Which rings more true, “I’m an American” or “I’m on my own, a mercenary”?). Corporations have absolved themselves of loyalty and responsibility toward their employees. Women have abandoned their gender role as caretakers and child-rearers and have become competent, vicious competitors. We’re all mercenaries, now. Further, we’re all men, now: we all drive trucks, wear pants and spit. So no one should be surprised that the social order of the 1950s is gone.

    Women: you wanted freedom and empowerment, and you got it in droves! The cost, of course, is the demise of the family and a lot more shoveling of your own poo rather than getting a man to do it all for you. The only Western men willing to become enslaved to (marry) Western women are either desperate, or fools.

    Guys: we need to push harder to make sure women are more equally represented. Equality is equality is equality. This means: mandatory draft of girls and women the same age as war-drafted men. Educating and promoting more female plumbers, carpet-layers, factory workers and ditch-diggers—not just doctors, lawyers, scientists and CEOs. Also, remember that 90% of women marry up. If you’re going to marry, make sure she’s loaded, first.

    Dads and Moms: start taking your sons to work on Take Your Daughter to Work Day. After all, college degrees and good careers are but one facet of “choice” in the long litany of lifestyle choices available to women today (work, or government dole, or lucrative divorce, or modeling, or subsisting on grant monies while promoting Womyn’s Rights, or obtaining scholarships for the 1000+ tax-financed Womyn’s Studies Programs that exist today). By contrast, college degrees and good careers are mandatory for boys and men.

  7. shane on June 16th, 2007 11:11 am

    right on bros they wanted it, lets let em have it.

  8. Jane on June 21st, 2007 1:53 pm

    Love and marriage were never the same. Marriage, like work is about finance, and self actualization, but primarily it’s about money. It was really intended for working class religious families to organize their resources and establish some kind of social order.

    We have outgrown marriage as it was intended and women are better off working, whatever profession they choose whether it is motherhood or CEO, and yes being a mom/dad, or both is a serious occupation.

    What I wish for all of you is a meaningful connection to someone who trusts you and inspires you to be better, safer, healthier and more alive than you’ll ever be alone or with someone else.

  9. Pissed on July 6th, 2007 3:23 am

    This article should be labeled “Selfish Men” and most of these “Smart Men” will end up old single lonely men if they follow some of the things that this article states. The whole thing about a man living with a women that he finds second best well that is just plain Wrong, what a Jerk! It is never, and I repeat never okay to have a women living with you when you know she is second best! Even if this is verbally understood, woman view living together as the next step to marriage. I am ashamed at the way people raise their sons now. They have absolutley no respect for women at all! They are more concerned with money and material items, well guess what those things are not forever! This article seems to encourage men to use women and not to be open and honest. Who ever wrote this article needs to seek some type of counceling, because they have clearly had some past experiences with women that have led them to want to spread their bitterness to other men! Please stop! It is hard enough to find loving caring men these days with out you trying to taint their views.

  10. Gar on September 16th, 2007 8:19 pm

    Great, so now we’re not only fighting feminists, we’re fighting masculinists. Why not just stand up to the feminists? Get your male behinds (also the fems that back you up) on television, radio, and everywhere else and start demanding the respect you deserve!! I know it’s not in the male to fight against women, but sometimes a woman needs help to snap out of it.

  11. Wingfella on November 16th, 2007 6:47 am

    I guess this is where the world is heading, but I’m not sure it’s all that absolute.

  12. petra howie on December 1st, 2007 5:48 pm

    I ran across this website while doing some research on a book (“men who won’t commit”) and i think you are doing a great disservice here by trying to give a voice to and encourage all the negative stereotypes that some men and women have about one another, as well as marriage and relationships in general. all of you sound either bitter or downright mean – and who wants to be with someone like that? maybe when you selected that wife you can’t stand anymore, you chose her for less than amicable reasons yourself? there are many good women out there who couldn’t care less about how much income a man “provides” (and here is a wakeup call: most of us divorced moms make our way through life and don’t have some man’s income to “fall back on”- but of course you bitterlings wouldn’t know about that!)- we just want a good, faithful, smart, kind and s**y man who is crazy about us! a lot of you men have no clue and you are missing out on the best things in life – and love is certainly one of the best!

  13. Kingblaze on December 29th, 2007 11:44 pm

    Everything I’ve seen here completely confirms what I have always seen, noticed, and felt: Marriage is really overrated. Sure, there is nothing wrong with it, per se, but it should not be considered a one way ticket to happiness.

    I’m single, and LOVING IT! I have s*x when I want to (most of the time at least), and I don’t need to put a ring on anybody’s finger to get it. Everyone I know that is married is not exactly happy… in fact, I’m sleeping with a married woman right now. All I really want to say is that if you can get companionship, s*x, and genuine good times with somebody (or several people), don’t rush into living with someone. You are really missing out on all the fine women out there who might be even better than what you are working with. Of course, if you truly find that “one”, than by all means marry her. But don’t let society tell you that you should get married as soon as possible. Enjoy life to the fullest, and when you have TRULY worn out your s****l/playa needs, then get that wife.

    Until then, I will enjoy my freedom and fornicate without commitment.

  14. Stephen on January 5th, 2008 6:19 pm

    Please stop the shaming language. It doesn’t work. The reason so many men are on these blogs is because they’ve gotten a bad deal from women. The problem is epidemic. Too many women want their cake and eat it too. They want rights without responsibility.

    Now men have caught on and more and more of them refuse to put their heads into the matrimonial noose. If marriage was a commercial business it would go out of business. Wise shoppers spend their money and get a worthwhile product. Men spend their lives, freedom, sanity and money on marriage and get a kick in the teeth.

    Women, you’d better wise up.

  15. Ironfist on January 16th, 2008 7:59 pm

    “and most of these “Smart Men” will end up old single lonely men”

    Who says they won’t even if they do get married?

  16. ohboy on January 30th, 2008 8:58 pm

    I accompanied my brother on a visit to his divorce lawyer today. Don’t do it! Don’t get married!

  17. Curiepoint on February 6th, 2008 5:43 am

    Dear Pissed,

    I think it reasonable to assume that nothing lasts forever, not even marriage. Material possessions however…well, they won’t last forever either, but they will likely last longer than a typical American marriage. As far as dying alone is concerned, everyone dies alone. It doesn’t matter whether one is married or not, when the reaper calls, he only wants one of you.


    This should do very nicely to illustrate how wives truly feel when their hubbies kick before them. Just look at all the support she gets for prizing his death over his life.

    As to what women expect out of any given situation, that is not men’s responsibility ever. If she expects more than what she is getting and it’s intolerable to her, all she need do is leave.

  18. Marla on February 7th, 2008 7:24 pm

    Hey, it goes both ways. I’m a 37-yo woman who keeps herself looking good and I wanted to wait until my 40′s to settle down and have a family. What I found is that I can date a guy for the “honeymoon” period, until he stops spending big on dates and bending over backwards to please me. When he stops, I fight with him, take a break, and then move on to another guy. I don’t feel bad because I know that none of them has been my soulmate. When I do find my soulmate, the game will end and we’ll both want to marry. Works for me!

    Editor’s Comment: Marla is a real winner eh?…

  19. Curiepoint on February 27th, 2008 9:56 am

    At least Marla states it up front, and doesn’t let it degenerate into rationalization of bad behavior. whether or not that makes her a “winner” or just a higher class of riff-raff is arguable. If she is despicable towards the average guy, she doesn’t make excuses for it. That can be dealt with right at the start. It’s the actresses who pretend to being strong and fiercely independent yet play the shrinking violet when it befits their needs that are truly the ones that deserve scorn. This is not to say that Marla is a good one, but at least her being rotten is not disguised.

  20. Matt on March 9th, 2008 1:50 pm

    I don’t think that Marla even sees the irony in her comments.. Does she realize she is being such a parody? Can’t wait to see her in 10 years or the lucky schmo who is stupid enough to marry her.

  21. Dittohd on April 24th, 2008 7:03 am

    My only problem with this list is this point:

    >Reason 9: They want to own a home before they consider getting a wife.

    Sorry, but this is exactly what an unintelligent guy would do. Why? Because in most cases, it is SOP (standard operating procedure) for the woman to get the house during the divorce. Why would any intelligent man, in this day and age, go into a marriage with equity in a house that will in all likelihood become hers in most cases of divorce, especially considering that most marriages end this way. And about 70% of second marriages end with divorce?

  22. Dittohd on April 24th, 2008 7:10 am

    In response to Marla’s comment above, I would suggest to all male readers. Requiring reciprocity is the name of the game. Requiring reciprocity will protect you from such golddiggers and the “estrogen express” nonsense.

  23. roberto on April 25th, 2008 12:05 am

    After 8 months of marriage now we are thinking divorce.never try marriage it is the worst thing in life happened to me and my biggest mistake. I am so happy right now and I got my ticket to Cancun and the best thing I am flying alone…..

  24. Bonnie on April 29th, 2008 1:15 am

    The morals, ethics, standards, and values of the people in our country today are down the dumper just like most of the leaders of our country are. (Ron Paul is the only left with his brain still screwed on.) Finding and keeping a spouse faithful is, I believe, a rare thing, but not impossible. I just finished reading the book “Deal Breakers” by Dr. Bethany Marshall. All of you egocentric men out there who think you are too good to settle down to one true-blue gal, ought to get your brains checked out by reading the book and finding out which category of brain-dead and emotionally unhealthy male you are. Find out how undesireable you are to women and you won’t think you are such hot stuff. Women want to avoid you like the plague just like you want to avoid stabililty, true love, and loyalty!

    As for me, I was married once to a man who had all five undesireable sick traits Dr. Marshall speaks of: But “I wrote the book on Dedicated and Devoted” and he finally almost sucked me in with him when he checked out of this world from a booze habit at the age of 52. Personally, I think most of you men who wrote in such negative letters about women, are a bunch of “sick puppies” who have fallen for the morals and values that Hollywood and the “boob tube” has visited upon us and many of the women today certainly aren’t any better. If you were clean of character and aspirations and searched for a girl with the same values, you might have found “your soul mate” by now instead of sitting on the sidelines bitching about your sad lot in life.

    I think there still are some good ones out there of both sexes and my best advice would be to get back to moral basics and moral values and if you find “a good one, ” value and cherish her/him and continue to work on the relationship, never taking them for granted. In hindsight, I wish I had never married husband number one. I have been with husband number 2, twenty two years now and we still work on the relationship together, lovingly and caringly. There is never room for “cheating” or “just getting by.” Don’t even think about it. My mother taught me early on: “The truth will find you out.” When you lose her because you couldn’t control the thinking with “your little head,” you will finally know what you had and what you did not value.

    If you are a Christian, get back to Christian values of basic honesty, Christian chastity in thought as well as deed, and do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Most guys expect to apply the old double standard and get away with it. Remember it takes two to tango. The bible says “As a man thinketh, so is he.” If you are always leering and lusting after other women, your wife/girl friend is on to you and don’t think she isn’t. In turn then, she takes your que and wants to be noticed by other men. You both need to stop it and concentrate on each other. Again, if you are a Christian, read 2nd Timothy. Those are these days.

  25. Daniel on January 26th, 2009 6:51 pm

    Looooooool. This last comment from Bonnie is priceless. Some of them are still coming with that lot of b*lls**t. Please, we are not all stupid. For sure there are still a lot of them out there and you will marry as soon as you move your butt a bit in front of a brainless idiot. But some of us have brains. Love does not exist anymore. Marriage is women’s business. Not ours. s*x is not even necessary to live happily. But peace and money and freedom are. And we lose everything with you. ALWAYS.

Did you know there is someone right now in willing to cheat on their spouse to have fun with you?

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